The home of Critic, Writer and Film-maker: Liam Walters

Screen Daze: The Life Changing Decisions of Rebecca Black


Written By: Liam Walters

So it’s Friday, and your 13. Your friends, who are hopefully quite a bit older than you, pull up in their car. But to your horror, there’s a seat free in the front, and the back, and you realise that all your life has been leading to one, massively important, life changing question:

Which seat can I take?

So yes, I’ve decided to take a break from television, and jumped into my computer to view a quite surprising viral video. I say surprising, because from first glance, this just seems like another annoying pop song with some cheap video with it. And yes, it is more or less that… Well, I say cheap, the parents of Rebecca Black, who sang the song, paid $2000 to have the song written, and have Rebecca record the song as well as the music video with it.

From writing this, the video has received more than 50 million views on the original youtube page. To put that in to perspective, the most subscribed user on Youtube, NigaHiga, has just over 3 million subscribers, and his most popular video only has around 28 million views.  On the other hand, it still does not match up to some the highest viewed videos on Youtube, such as Lady Gaga’s – Bad Romance with over 360 million views, or even popular internet hate figure Justin Bieber, whose video for ‘Baby’ has near 500 million views.

So what about the song and the video has angered so many about this simple song, of a girl going to school on a Friday, having to decide between the front seat or the back seat… Well, one of the problems is that it’s exactly what the song is about. It’s more or less nothing important what so ever. She does, however, help us with the days of the week by telling us “Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday, Today i-is Friday, Friday”, then for whatever reason loses all concept of grammar by saying “We-we-we so excited, We so excited, We gonna have a ball today”. She then helpfully gets back on to the days of the week “Tomorrow is Saturday, And Sunday comes afterrrrwards”.

Isn’t it nice being able to learn the days of the week?

There also this very weird part where some Usher look-alike just drives into shot, rapping about Fridays, Rebecca Black and School Buses… Well, I guess it’s better than rapping about how your bitch aint one of your 99 problems.

Apparently even Satan himself (better known on earth as Simon Cowell) has praised Rebecca Black, or at least somewhat, stating “Anyone who can create this much controversy within a week, I want to meet”…  Give me a light sabre and a week and I’m sure I could create some controversy.

Anyway, the song has lead to nearly the whole internet getting into a fit of rage, describing this song as the death of music, the worst piece of music ever to be conceived and more of the same. The interesting thing is that Rebecca Black did not actually write the song herself, and instead it was 2 people from ARK Music Factory.

Those same people who are responsible for all the rage against Rebecca Black, has simply commented that they were surprised at how talented she was. In fact, she’s that talented that they had to auto-tune the song.  With talent like that, who needs the X-Factor.

There that part in the music video when Rebecca Black and her friends are stood up dancing in the back of the car. I mean, that whole thing sets a bad example. I mean, really… Having Rebecca Black stood up in the back of your car, and not even attempting to drive under any low bridges… Okay, maybe that’s a bit harsh, we’ll just stick those 2 from ARK Music Factory in the boot and ditch the car by a lake.

What was Rebecca Black even doing at that party. She’s 13! Even if her friends can drive, they’re still at school. None of them should be legal enough to drink, yet just look that that party she’s at. There’s load of people there. I mean, it’s like the type of party Justin Bieber would go to in one of his videos, I mean, there’s probably more alcohol in an AA meeting than at any of those parties.

What actually happens with Usher.2 (now with added cheapness). I mean, he drives in, raps for 20 seconds, and then just drives off, to only appear once more for 2 seconds, just driving and grooving. What, does the music video itself have that much self loathing for what it is, it just wants to cut to anything else just so it can pretend for 20 seconds that it’s not a Rebecca Black video?

I really wish she would stop staring directly at the camera in each and every scene as well. It’s really unnerving to try to review something when Rebecca Black just keeps staring into your soul with some creepy smile that burns into your retinas.

All in all, this is a horrible music video and song, and although I can see why the internet hates it so much, I figure you have to take it in stride. We can at least wait until Rebecca Black is old enough to write her own, badly done song lyrics, so she can take the criticism of the world. And who knows, hopefully she will be able to do it without shaving off her own hair… Plus, she is giving some of her profits to the Japanese Tsunami Relief Fund, so I guess that is a silver lining.

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