Fiction: Memories From Another Time
[ Written By: Liam Walters ]
I walked down the white walled corridor, as I looked up ahead. I knew what must be done, but I didn’t know how to do it. My hand was shaking, and my eyes were full of tears. My heart was aching and I had a lump in my throat. I was silent, hardly making a sound, as I pushed the double doors open, stopping immediately.
There she was, lying underneath the blankets, her face filled with scars and gashes, her breathing hard and jagged. She slowly looked up at me, not saying anything, but having that look in her eyes…That determined look…
I felt as though I could not take another step. I wanted to turn back and run…But I had to do this…It was what she wanted. She was in too much pain…It was too late…There was not anything else to do…This was the final option.
After composing myself, I walked softly towards her, a weak soft smile on my face, to try to show her I was okay…I wasn’t okay, not at all, not one bit. But I had to be…I sat down on the chair beside her bed, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly, as tears ran down my face.
She could not speak. Not any more. But she weakly took her other hand, wiping away my tears, before placing it on top of mine which held onto her other hand.
I nodded, as I went into my pocket, pulling out a needle. I went to her drip, attaching the needle in and releasing its contents, before attaching it back.
I had done it…Now it was the worse time to come…Now we had to wait.
I dropped back down, unable to control myself anymore, as I broke down, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into a tight hug as I cried on her shoulder.
She hugged me back, as tight as she could. She whispered, as best as she could…
“Thank you” She said, before lying back down, her breathing becoming slow.
I continued to cry, unable to stop. This was the worst thing that ever happened. Not too long ago, we were just normal teenagers. Hanging around, having fun, but now it had all changed.
Just that one little incident left her in this condition. It left her so bad that she did not want to continue. She was in constant pain and would forever be weak. She did not want to live a life as such a big burden, that she asked me to do the unthinkable…At first I refused. I couldn’t not even think of doing such a thing…But she pleaded…She pleaded with all her heart. I saw the pain she was in…So I agreed.
I would never be able to let go of the guilt, but for her the pain, and the guilt, was worth it.
I looked down at her, my hands still shaking, as she was close. Her eyes were drooping and she would soon go to sleep…Never to wake up again. I reclasped her hand; I was going to be with her all the way. I would never leave her in these final moments.
Memories were flooding me from a different time. A happier time. And although these memories all hurt at the moment, I knew, inside, that these memories would be the ones I latched onto later. The good memories from where everything was alright. I would remember the fun we had, and although we would never have any more, it would comfort me in knowing that we still had those times together.
I felt her hand go limp, as she slipped into the sleep. I placed my head against her chest, tears still falling from my eyes. I felt her heartbeat, slow and weak. I did not move. Some time passed…I did not know how long it was. It could have been minutes or hours. I was sat there, just waiting. Soon enough it came…Her heart stopped. I heard the cold long beep from the machinery, as I was taken from the world as well.
Darkness surrounded me, as she faded into said darkness. My heart ached so much. She was gone, and it was by my own hands that she did so. I wanted to do nothing more than take my own life. I was so tempted, but was restrained the promise which I made…Which was to live a life. Live a life which she would never be able to. I would live, for both me and for her, since she was now no longer able to.
I soon fell back into the world, away from the darkness, although I would never be truly away from it. The darkness was now the world in which I lived.
I looked down at her cold, lifeless body.
“Goodbye…” I said, my final tears falling from my eyes.
I must have been all cried out, as I stood up, leaving the room as the doctors passed me, rushing it to check what had happened. They would trace the death back to me, but by then I would be long gone. From this town, from this place filled with such painful memories, but also the place holding such strong, happy memories.
But I knew, the memories would always stay with me. I walked outside, the cold autumn air hitting me, as I looked up at the sun, what was slowly starting to rise.
I took one final look at the hospital, before leaving.
There was nothing left for me here. I once had so much…But now everything was gone, leaving a hallow shell…But…Hopefully…I would find somewhere new…Somewhere where I could escape the darkness. I would go to a new world, where the sun was always shining, where the happy memories of another time could shine so brightly. I walked into the twilight sunset, accepting the darkness which would come forth, in hope for a bright, more peaceful sunrise.