The home of Critic, Writer and Film-maker: Liam Walters

Guest: Attack of the Razornites

[Written By: Lucy Walsh]

I wrote this in a day. 0_O Very weird story but I kind of like it. As with everything I write at the moment I will go back to it in a few days, but I know a certain person who wanted to see the finished version. To that person, here it is! : P



The rain pattered down upon the summer streets in one of englands most suburban cities. It splashed onto peoples heads, leaked into sandles and caused great inconvenience for those who had willingly walked out without a coat.

The television producer ran across the slippery tiles that led up to Starbucks. She eyed the enormous glass windows and smiled to herself when she realised it wasn’t so busy inside. She approached without caution to the electric doors and marched straight over over to the counter.

“Lemon Frappacino. Grande, no wait, make that a tall one. No whipped cream.” she said looking at the small, nervous looking bar tender.

Next to the counter was a staircase. Normal wooden steps ascended up towards the first floor. At the top of it stood a man, he was dressed in a shirt with a oddly stained pure white tie wrapped around his neck. His lips curved into a strange sort of smile when he saw the television producer and wandered back over to his table.

His mission was about to begin.

“I don’t know why they panic so much about rain.” said a high pitched voice from the communicator hidden inside his ear, “It’s only a bit of water.”

“Rumour has it the furry odd pets on top of their heads will dissolve.” another deeper voice replied.

Hans Tybalt wasn’t the ordinary human. He looked humanoid, sounded humanoid and when questioned he acted it too. But really his looks, sounds and actions were all just a disguise. He was really an alien from the planet of Razors a planet a long, long way from the setting of this story. And the Razornites were under orders to take over the human race.

And Hans Tybalt, or his real Razornite name of RAZOR-122, was the one who had to get himself onto a quiz show in order take down the world of the television.

The Razornites had become a race obsessed with the television industry. And fully believed that if they managed to blow up the nations favourite quiz show, they would enable themselves to conquer planet earth within a matter of seconds.

It’s a shame they hadn’t heard of the security that roamed the studios.

Aliens aren’t meant to be understood. In fact in normal terms, they are meant to be “weird”. And in this tale, that is exactly what they should be. So when the television producer climbed the steps and came over to Hans Tybalt, she found herself realising that it truly was a very unusual world she was living in.

The quiz show wasn’t looking for contestants who claimed to be aliens. Because in this tale, there weren’t any aliens. In fact the only aliens within the confines of this story is that of which controls the random breaches of the imagination.

Hans Tybalt or RAZOR-122 wasn’t an alien. In fact, he was a full human male. He looked like one, sounded like it, and sometimes acted it.

It was just unfortunate that this human male was locked up in a hospital two weeks after the television producer had run from him. She’d wound up realising he was “mentally disturbed” and ran straight to the police.

When Hans Tybalt or Razor-122 was later questioned. They didn’t find the communicator. Instead they found was an xbox 360 head set, blank from the words that they were assured the commanding voices came from.

Doctors convinced Hans Tybalt or Razor-122′s parents that their only son Harry Tyson had schizophrenia, and that he would recover after his hospital treatment.

But humans are sometimes naïve creatures.

Because then, dear reader, the aliens invaded.

The End

Ps, did I trick you? :P

[Cybaria’s Note]

When Lucy isn’t watching Doctor Who or swooning over David Tennant, she can will normally be found either writing short stories or scripts, or working on writing her webcomic; The Heartstones Odyssey.

If you like what you have read here, then please check out her other work:


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