The home of Critic, Writer and Film-maker: Liam Walters

Misc: 27 Quotes From 27 Movies


How many of them do you know?

  1. “He’s leaked lubricants all over my foot!

  2. “If you don’t have a drummer, then why do you have drums you fistful of assholes?
  3. “Never date a man who knows more about your vagina than you do.
  4. “I don’t mind having one eye. It just means I can focus on one thing at a time
  5. “Everyone’s trying to get out of Washington, and we’re the only schmucks trying to get in.”
  6. “He’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy!
  7. This reminds me of the time I attempted to reach the center of the earth. I’d be reading my favorite author, Jules Verne. I spent weeks preparing that expedition, I didn’t even get this far. Of course, I was only 12 at the time. You know, it was the writings of Jules Verne that had a profound effect on my life. It was when I was 11 that I first read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. It was then that I realized that I must devote my life to science.
  8. “I don’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a police officer… Apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog.
  9. “I finally meet the right guy, and he’s from another planet.
  10. “Nah… I mean, I’m already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?
  11. “I’m not gonna hurt you, I just want to chew on your neck!
  12. “Please, there’s been a mistake. I’m not dead.
  13. “I guess when you combine mass quantities of cough syrup with yodels… you get acid.
  14. “Dude, I service society by rocking, OK? I’m out there on the front lines liberating people with my music!
  15. “No, it’s not. It’s fucking Sunday. And I’ve got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours ‘cos every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill! Now can you see why I’m SO FUCKING ANGRY?
  16. “This is sort of an unusual question, but do you have any marijuana I might be able to buy from you? Our car exploded last night and I’m practically all out of my own.
  17. “Remember, you have to shove a pineapple up Hitler’s ass at 4pm.
  18. Unbelievable, that old Biff could have chosen that particular date. It could mean that that point in time inherently contains some sort of cosmic significance. Almost as if it were the temporal junction point for the entire space-time continuum. On the other hand, it could just be an amazing coincidence.
  19. “Yeah, that’s a great idea! We’ll just jump over that hundred foot waterfall, swim twenty miles upstream, get the sheriff on the phone, he liked us, I remember, and he’ll send out a rescue! Hey, look, there’s a beer in the water!
  20. “Curiously the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, ‘Oh no, not again.’ Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
  21. None of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with ME!
  22. “Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
  23. Starscream, I’m home.
  24. “I’m not complaining. How am I complaining? When have do I ever complain about you practicing the violin at three in the morning, or your mess, your general lack of hygiene, or the fact that you steal my clothes?
  25. “The human sacrificed himself, to save the Pokemon. I pitted them against each other, but not until they set aside their differences did I see the true power they all share deep inside. I see now that the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.
  26. Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn’t take Lorraine out that he’d melt my brain.
  27. “Time travel. It’ll turn your brain into spaghetti if you let it. Best not to think about it. Best just to get on with the job in hand. Which is destroying the enemy before they’re even born and have a chance to threaten us. We’re expecting any resistance to be light, because the ancestors of our enemies have yet to evolve any thumbs… or indeed spines. But that does not change the fact that they may one day evolve into a species that may pose a threat to us. And for that reason, we are going to rain down a fiery death upon them that will turn the surface of their planet into a radioactive desert! Because we are the planetary peace corps! And that is what we do! Now, are you nappy-wearing motherfuckers ready to lock and load, and get it on?
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